I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
