the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
