he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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