The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
