Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
