so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
