Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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