toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
