Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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