I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
