i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
