i think my tv is drunk
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
