I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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