My nipple is on Facebook.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
