You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
