just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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