I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am mentally ready for anal.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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