If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i've created a new STD.
I could fuck to npr.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
