8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
