we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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