My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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