can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
