Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
