If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
