thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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