she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Shame - the story of my life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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