The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
