did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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