Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
