I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
