he wants to bone in the snuggie
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
