made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
