So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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