Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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