It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Success! We fucked roommates!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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