Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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