she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
