But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
