the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize