I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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