4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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