So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
