Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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