I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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