It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So many bounce houses so little time
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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