Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
