i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
