I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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