Im at strip club and am horny
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize