I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
worst night to have a conscience
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
