I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
