I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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