Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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