they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
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But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
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I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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