Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
