I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize