I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
