he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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