Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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