I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
