Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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