Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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