He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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