Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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