somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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