Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Never let your siblings swipe right.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
